He's Not Lazy: Empowering Your Son to Believe In Himself

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Rather than reacting to pressure by shunning academic responsibilities altogether or propping up fear-based rebellion with justifications like “I am not going to be one of those nerds who have no life,” or “Tests don’t measure intelligence or help you learn, so what’s the point of studying for them? I'm at work every day by 8 and my commute is longer so I don't see the issue with starting at 730 or 8. While he can't claim to know your experience and your child, he is pretty bang on with his analogy of the teen boy. Like many parents, I was shocked by recent revelations about sexual violence and harassment in UK schools. To be fair, I did get a couple of tips and insights that I will use, which is why I rated the book 3 stars.

He covers so much that I have heard over the years: executive functioning, growth mindset, gender differences, scaffolding, etc. Appearing like he's "too cool for school" means he doesn't need to face all this pressure, or have people find out he really isn't that smart. This book can help you become an ally with your son, as he discovers greater self-confidence and accepts responsibility for his future. If you recognise this behaviour pattern in your child, then I would first of all encourage you to read ‘He’s Not Lazy’ for yourself, as it is accessible, sensible and practical, but I will try to summarise the key approaches to managing the situation here.He’s NOT trying hard, not seemingly concerned about grades or school, in fact they might describe him as ‘barely motivated’, or even ‘lazy’. I found this book to be an incredibly useful tool for me as I LEARNED how to navigate my flawed interpretation of my son's inaction. This book is for a C student who's 100% into the consumer culture and expectations of American maleness. First half of the book explains your child , so that you actually understand WHY he is behaving like this.

He’s Not Lazy will help you become your son’s ally, as he assumes greater self-confidence and becomes more self-reliant. He explains why nagging and over-parenting simply exacerbates this issue, and how stepping back and giving boys more autonomy can help them become more self-directed and find their footing. I REALLY worry about the impact the rising levels of perfectionism in young people is having on their mental health. If it doesn’t pertain to you fine, but that doesn’t make it not valid, and to say this book if for kids who get Cs and are otherwise going down a less than stellar path in life is way off the mark. He may be an otherwise capable young man but seems apathetic and unmotivated, to the point you think he’s not excelling simply because he’s lazy.As school starts up again it’s important to mention the key study skills which will put your child in the best position to succeed this academic year. This book is a huge ray of hope for me, there's a saying that goes: "it takes a village to raise a child" however, to raise a teenager it surely takes more than just a village. For me, personally, one of the best things about this book was all the charts - whether it was about learning organizational skills, or giving you an arsenal of words to help your son learn about/describe himself, they were a great resource.

The first part covers the why your son behaves the way he does, using relatable scenarios from his life and practice, along with a more heavy chapter about the science of the teen boy's brain and underdeveloped pre-frontal cortex.But interestingly, whilst many parents agree with what I say in my talks, and often come to speak to me about their concerns at the end of my talks, I also notice how some parents raise their worry with me that their teen (usually a boy) is behaving in the opposite way. It’s the first one I’ve read in the area of understanding teenage boys that really spoke to me and made sense of this sometimes difficult season for families.

There are clear explanations of teenage brain development, the role of male hormones, the impact of burgeoning sexuality, and teenagers’ need to find their feet as independent social and emotional beings. They develop multiple passions, and it’s a time in life for real engagement in hobbies and interests. If you do everything for your child, and don't let him fail, he will stop doing anything, because 1. If you name a consequence, be prepared to enforce it, regardless of your son's complaints and threats.I found this great and helped put into perspective what I have experienced and seen in the academic world around me. He has presented widely to both parents and educators on opting out, child development, and learning disabilities, and has appeared on “Good Day New York” and other programs to discuss topics ranging from discipline to the impact of video games on children. Highly recommended if you have a teenage son - if you don't, you won't find much of interest or application here.