Beyond Grief: Navigating the Journey of Pregnancy and Baby Loss

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Trying lots of things and finding my tribe helped me rediscover me. I stopped thinking about what I didn’t want and started moving in the direction of what I wanted. I met friends, found new passions, and reconnected with my spirituality Finding love in helping others. It was then that I began to excavate the layers of who I once was. Remembering the younger version of myself and finding the best parts of me. Next was finding my purpose. Since this journey to living beyond loss and grief is so personal, it also depends on how you choose to move through it. Living Beyond Grief is an exploration of what a widow experiences as they move forward with their lives and how they can find hope and ignite a new spark of life.

I share this part of my story to illustrate how each of our individual lives are being led by our own “normal.” Some of us are caregivers carrying the burden of knowing these are the last moments to spend with our partners, and others are blissfully unaware of a traumatic, unknown incident about to occur. In the moments leading up to our partners’ transition, our identity is intact. We maneuver day-to-day lives without questioning ourselves.Talk about your grief. Not everyone is comfortable talking about how they feel, and that’s ok. Still, you can find validation and even encouragement by expressing something as simple as, “I’m sad today.” For those of us who process things verbally, consider having meetings (casually with a friend, regularly with a support group, or professionally with a counselor) to discuss where you’re at in the grieving process. Figuring out what works to help you cope with loss and grief may take some trial and error. Here are nine strategies to test that may help:

Missing you is like the ocean. Sometimes the waves toss and churn, and sometimes all is calm as I float upon a glassy, mystic surface. Sometimes the tide pulls me out to fearsome depths, or washes me up on golden-sanded shores. Sometimes my stamina fails and I sink beneath the surface. And sometimes I feel my muscles stir with newfound strength as I learn to swim in that beautiful sea of memories. This profoundly personal journey is yours to create, but you don’t ever have to do it alone. Take the First Step Accept that this is your own journey through loss and grief, and it may be different than what other people experience. Don’t let others tell you when it’s time to stop grieving—this is your own road to healing. Grieving is like having broken ribs. On the outside, you look fine, but with every breath, it hurts.

Whether you have lost a close family member or your spouse, or you have lost a beloved pet, grief follows. You may grieve over the loss of your marriage or the loss of your job. Moving and leaving a home you love may bring up sadness and fear—both symptoms of grief. You are gone, but thank you for all these soft, sweet things you have left behind in my home, in my head, in my heart. – Nikita Gill These may be just some of the many thoughts and questions that J could have whirring around her mind — even though she hasn’t done anything wrong, the shame attached to her partner’s behaviour could force her to keep her loss a secret. O'Connor's upcoming book, The Grieving Brain, explores what scientists know about how our minds grapple with the loss of a loved one. Interview highlights Whatever your loss this retreat will help you to cope, understand and move through your grieving experience.

We were enjoying a Sunday afternoon. At that moment, I was a wife, a mother, a saleswoman, and a partner with my best friend in the whole world. After lunch, we went our separate ways. Little did I know that our goodbye kiss would be the last. It’s not always so simple, but often the mourner can start to feel a little better after 6-8 weeks. Some find grief hits hardest at around 4-6 months, while others experience an initial anguish which fades to a dull ache after a few weeks or months. Still others gradually heal as they process over a few years. Only people who are capable of loving strongly can also suffer great sorrow, but this same necessity of loving serves to counteract their grief and heals them. Every man has his secret sorrows which the world knows not; and oftentimes we call a man cold, when he is only sad. – Henry Wadsworth Longfellow Who should J talk to and share this heartbreak with? Will her work understand and give her compassionate leave, just like they would if someone dies? Is what J feeling even normal?What is your only comfort in life and death? That I am not my own, but belong with body and soul, both in life and in death, to my faithful Saviour Jesus Christ. – Heidelberg Catechism In the United States, we have over one million new widows every year. We are professionals, business owners, doctors, lawyers, teachers, and parents. We are thrust into this life we never wanted with no instruction manual and are confused about how to reconstruct our lives.

This book will be the friend to hold your hand while you navigate your own pathway of grief. I'm so glad it's here' Elle Wright So, let’s return to the questions posed at the beginning of this article and see if we can answer them. Having said that, one of the things that we know is that grief is tied to all sorts of different brain functions we have, from being able to recall memories to taking the perspective of another person, to even things like regulating our heart rate and the experience of pain and suffering. So lots of different parts of the brain are orchestrating this experience that we have when we feel grief. Healing comes from letting there be room for all of “this” to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy. – Pema Chodron Have you ever felt angry at the loss of something or someone? You might be angry with yourself or with God, wishing the doctors could have done more, or blaming the company for eliminating your job.Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. – Isaiah 41:10 Learn from the wisdom of those who have mourned before you. Read each quote thoughtfully and carefully. You might be surprised at the things that resonate with you. While grief is fresh, every attempt to divert only irritates. You must wait till grief be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it. – Samuel Johnson Your presence is probably more important than anything. Just be there. Show up (but be ready to leave – don’t press to hang out) with some flowers and let them know you are thinking of them. Sit and talk, sit and watch a movie, offer to watch the kids or do laundry while they nap. Showing up tells them that you care and provides more comfort than you know.