My Wild and Sleepless Nights: THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER

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And then she laughs: “Although at the moment they are completely disinterested in what I do for a living.” Brilliant – touching, tender, honest and so true. I don’t think I’ve ever read anything like it. It captures that hopeless sense of how much you love your children and how powerless you feel as they grow up and away from you. Eleanor Mills As tender, blazing, funny and unflinching as the love it describes. I want to give this triumphant book to every mother I know' - Rachel Joyce I have been waiting for a book like this for a long time. Stroud captures the very essence of motherhood in all its contradictions - the brutal loveliness of what it is to mother another, and how the act of doing so breaks us open in ways both wonderful and terrible. There are few other books about motherhood as brave, honest and beautifully written as this one. * Sarah Langford, author of In Your Defence * Clover Stroud's brilliantly unvarnished memoir finds the heroism and poetry in having kids ... Much of this book ..reads like a nature memoir, full of landscape both external and internal ... How brilliant for someone to write about the blankness as well as the beauty. Nell Frizzell, Telegraph

This is quite simply the best book about motherhood I have ever read.’– Eleanor Mills in the Sunday TimesWe had a really tempestuous relationship though and argued like cat and dog so that sometimes we couldn’t talk to each other. But we were really, really, really close and really understood each other. Which does beg the question about her own large family. “I think it’s my endless desire to take my life to the edge and to feel everything, to take things to an extreme and to fill my plate as high as possible. But I’m also aware as I deal with it that having children is the best and worse thing that can happen to you, and that I’m going to miss it when it’s over. I wish I’d talked to Nell more about death and what she thought and felt about it, but by the time I brought it up it was too late, she was too close, she was looking at it right in the face. And she died with so much courage. A compelling read. Clover writes so beautifully and somehow manages to give shape to the mess and madness of motherhood. * Lucy Atkins * I have had a lot of loss in my life,” Clover says, “so the next book is about living with that darkness and thinking about that what loss has done to me and alchemising that into something more beautiful, as well as how it has shaped my life.”

Clover’s expertise is writing about family life in a way that feels both new and entirely familiar’– Pandora Sykes I read in one greedy gulp and am still slightly reeling. Extraordinary writing... For mothers and those even vaguely interested in family dynamics it is fascinating. * Alexandra Heminsley *

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And then Clover draws breath and adds: “But there are very few people my age who haven’t experienced grief and loss and yet we just don’t talk about it. People are scared by death I suppose. And I think it’s a conversation we need to have. Having grown up with three sisters, and later a step-brother and sister, I adored reading about the mayhem and madness so synonymous with big families, and was gripped by the nostalgia and fondness with which Clover so brilliantly writes about her ever-growing and changing family. I devoured it in one gollop. Clover’s extreme honesty is a rare and lovely thing. A wonderful book. Julie Myerson Because to me she wasn’t Nell Gifford, she was my sister. A lot of people had a sense of what she was like, which had very little to do with what she was actually like, and how complex she was, and how her outward persona was different to her private life.” BEST NON-FICTION OF 2020: Clover Stroud charts the highs and lows of motherhood in all their deep, dark glory. -- Sarra Manning * RED Magazine *

From the Sunday Times Bestselling author Clover Stroud, comes a raw, honest and deeply personal account of what it means to be a mother, touching on motherhood, identity and sexuality. The best evocation of the all-consuming, self-eroding reality of motherhood, while also being luminous with love. Emma Beddington, The Sunday Times Brilliant motherhood memoir...Clover Stroud is one of the very best writers on the light and dark of motherhood and, if you enjoyed her debut The Wild Other, you'll love this. The book follows the first year of her fifth child's life as she juggles looking after a newborn with dealing with her teenage son's problematic behaviour. The writing is sublime and honest. * Good Housekeeping *But I’d liked to have asked how I’d know she was still there and where to find her, to find out where she has gone and what to do when I miss her, how to connect with her. I wish I knew the answers. What a beautiful writer Clover Stroud is! This honest look at the high and lows of the roller coaster that is maternal life and love is both joyous and exhilarating. * Cathy Rentzenbrink *

I know the festival is virtual this year, but I can’t wait. I love TAL – I think it’s my favourite literary festival. It’s always a complete joy so it will be exciting to do it slightly differently and the idea that people can watch it from all around the world is really inspiring.” Moving, startling, uplifting, galvanising and unsettling, this plainly beautiful book is one of those rare few that changes how you see the world around you' - Ella Risbridger, author of The Year of Miracles I read in one greedy gulp and am still slightly reeling. Extraordinary writing… For mothers and those even vaguely interested in family dynamics it is fascinating’– Alexandra Heminsley And yes they rebel, but that’s normal, certainly as normal as having sleepless nights when you have a baby or toddler tantrums. It doesn’t mean they don’t have values. So is the book she’s currently writing about Nell? “It’s more about me than Nell. It’s about how to deal with grief, how to get through and keep going and yes, about death. It’s about how to survive and bear such unendurable loss. It’s about losing my sister. Nell and CloverBrilliant motherhood memoir...Clover Stroud is one of the very best writers on the light and dark of motherhood and, if you enjoyed her debut The Wild Other, you'll love this. The book follows the first year of her fifth child's life as she juggles looking after a newborn with dealing with her teenage son's problematic behaviour. The writing is sublime and honest. Good Housekeeping Mostly what I like about reading is getting swept away into the imaginary world of a novel where anything could happen. But sometimes I just want to read another person's life story and feel that human connection. A good memoir can be consoling, inspiring, uplifting and a reminder of how persistent, courageous and downright amazing people can be. Clover Stroud managed to write down all of the mania in one place, making me shed a tear and honk with laughter…she writes so eloquently about all we lose as well as gain through our children. Emma Barnett, Good Housekeeping Clover Stroud is surrounded by the usual organised chaos on which she thrives when we hook up. Her husband Pete is away working in the US for seven weeks, so the task of looking after their five children, numerous animals, pets, horses, friends, lunchboxes and of course her writing, is down to her. A beautifully written, brutally honest dissection of motherhood by a woman who has five children, from pregnancy to teenagers, covering both the extreme highs and lows. Stroud's writing examines what it is to be a woman with the same sensitive skill fans of her first memoir, The Wild Other, will recall. Independent