Finding Closure: Who can move forward without it: 1

Product Information

A memorial service allows you to reflect on your loved one's life and death which helps bring a sense of closure. This death ritual helps bring about a shift in the reality of them no longer being physically here. Koss (2014) describes how RESTORE is a restorative justice program and the process that is involved. RESTORE is a program that attempts to foster a dialogue between the victim (called survivor-victims) and the offender (called the responsible person). The names used for the victim and offender in the program demonstrate how the program attempts to reverse the power roles that were in play when the crime occurred.

Show empathy, even if it is hard work, and you will eventually learn not to feel like life is as stressful as recess in school for a child on the autistic spectrum. Don't kill any innocent people - a simpe message, brutally ignored. Don't discriminate against people who are different - another message, equally important, and equally often ignored. If politicians stand up and talk about school shooters as "disturbed", and young kids with Aspergers get to hear that their behaviour is "disturbed" as well, that is brutally "disturbing" to their peace of mind, as understanding the world literally part of their reality. Koss (2014) reported that one of the primary reasons victims chose RESTORE was to be able to individualize the way accountability would be imposed on the offender. The majority of the offenders in the program ended up writing a letter of apology that would be read aloud by the offender at the final conference. This is an interesting aspect of the program because one main criticism against restorative justice is that it uses the victims of crimes as an “apology sponge” to make the offender feel better about themselves (Koss, 2014, p. 1653). The victims in the program were given the choice of attending that final conference and not one victim during the study chose to be present at that conference to hear the apology. Mingus, W., & Burchfield, K. (2012). From prison to integration: Applying modified labeling theory to sex offenders. Criminal Justice Studies, 25(1), 97-109. doi: 10.1080/1478601x.2012.657906 Sometimes it may be necessary to seek outside support to help you process your loved one’s death and find closure. The importance of finding closure following a traumatic event lies in why people want answers and explanations as to why their loved one died.A theme of this book clearly is empathy. Not only does Caitlin have to learn how to feel empathy, but it seems as though the author’s purpose is to make the reader feel empathy for Caitlin. The first person point of view helps us feel empathy for Caitlin. This point of view helps the reader see things as Caitlin sees them. It helps us get an understanding of what someone with Asperger’s would think like. She has an emotions chart that she uses with the counselor to help her recognize people’s emotions. We can see Caitlin try to use this chart when she sees people. For example, Caitlin thought this as she saw a boy sitting alone on the playground, “I wonder why he’s sitting like that. He’s rubbing his eyes so he’s either sleepy or sad. I think those are the only two things it could be.” I know I do not have to think like this; my brain automatically can recognize other people’s emotions. It is interesting to see how Caitlin has to train her brain to do this. The results of the study conducted on the victims and offenders who participated in RESTORE were very encouraging as it relates to the completion of the offender reparation plans and victim satisfaction with the program. Koss (2014) found that about 66% of felony offenders and 91% of misdemeanor offenders completed the reparation plan drafted during the program. That is incredibly successful considering that sexual assaults cases handled through traditional adjudication resulted in 75% being closed without any consequences to the offender. Also critical to note is that 70% of the victims felt justice was done and 84% of the victims would recommend RESTORE to others (Koss, 2014). So what role does guilt and shame play in the RESTORE program?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. It’s crucial to give yourself and your example time to process the breakup. For some, a few weeks might suffice; for others, it might take months or even years. What’s the difference between seeking closure and seeking validation? His hand closed automatically around the fake Horcrux, but in spite of everything, in spite of the dark and twisting path he saw stretching ahead for himself, in spite of the final meeting with Voldemort he knew must come, whether in a month, in a year, or in ten, he felt his heart lift at the thought that there was still one last golden day of peace left to enjoy with Ron and Hermione. Funerals and memorial services can help bring closure following a loved one's death for some people, but not all. Giving or hearing a eulogy memorializing your loved one's life can immensely heal and help with the grieving process.

For some, that may involve finding a particular purpose that gives meaning to your loved one’s life. For others, it may mean forging an entirely new identity outside of the role they filled when their loved one was alive. 8. Accept your feelings Mitchell, D. (2013). Some shooting victims attend Aurora theater reopening event. Fox News. Retrieved from http://www.kdvr.com/2013/01/17/some-shooting-victims-attend-Aurora-theater-reopening-event/ What happens if the other person can’t give you closure? At that point, you have to accept that you can’t control the uncontrollable. (That includes others’ actions.) The core of this mindset is to let go of what you cannot change. Whether the other person is willing to hash it all out, or whether they are tight-lipped about it all, you ultimately need to give yourself closure. Below are some tips for embarking on the process. Tewksbury, R. (2006). Sex offender registries as a tool for public safety: Views from registered offenders. Western Criminology Review, 7(1), 1-8. A moving story about an eleven-year-old girl with Asperger’s syndrome whose older brother dies in a school shooting and the steps she takes to get closure. Kathryn Erskine pulls this poignant tale off wonderfully – it is sad, but sad in a way that gives the reader hope.

Reason for Reading: I have Asperger's and when I saw a book that featured a female protagonist with Asperger's I was elated and HAD to read the book. Highly recommended for children, teens, and adults alike – this book is definitely deserving of the National Book Award, and will leave readers aching to understand one another despite their personal problems.A popular novel that makes use of this ending is And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie, where she tells the tale of ten murders without an obvious culprit that took place in an isolated island mansion. [Spoilers coming!] The last lines of the novel read: There are certain crimes that seem to demand justice more than others; people seem to be appalled by certain types of crimes, and sexual assault is certainly one of those. Considering that sexual assault is one of those crimes that desperately cries out for justice it may be hard to imagine a sexual assault victim wanting to enter a restorative justice program with the offender. Despite what might intuitively seem to be a strong desire for vengeance or suffering against a sexual assault offender, many people have chosen to take part in a restorative justice program specifically for sex assault called RESTORE.

Give yourself some time to grieve your loss and accept how your life has changed after loss. Some changes will not be as apparent and may take longer to manifest than others. For example, when you experience a spouse or lifelong partner's death, you may not notice subtle changes in your social calendar. Before reaching the final line, however, he had already understood that he would never leave that room, for it was foreseen that the city of mirrors (or mirages) would be wiped out by the wind and exiled from the memory of men at the precise moment when Aureliano Babilonia would finish deciphering the parchments, and that everything written on them was unrepeatable since time immemorial and forever more, because races condemned to one hundred years of solitude did not have a second opportunity on earth.Rodogno, R. (2008). Shame and guilt in restorative justice. Psychology, Public Policy, and Law, 14(2), 142-176. doi: 10.1037/a0013474 It’s okay to allow yourself to grieve over the death of your loved one. Crying, feeling sad, angry, and confused are all part of the natural grief process. Let all of those emotions come up to the surface, and try not to judge yourself for feeling what you feel. When you suppress your feelings, it stops you from moving forward in your healing. Pent-up emotions tend to erupt when least expected. 9. Confide in a friend Why might you use an unexpected ending? These ‘twist endings’ are the bread and butter of mystery novels. Just be aware that while fans of the genre will expect a twist — they won't want one that comes entirely out of nowhere. To execute a flawless unexpected ending, you must lay groundwork throughout your book so that the reader can reflect on the plot and go, “ah, but of course!” 5. Tied Ending